( VOICEMAIL @ PROXIMA ) do you have an iq over 170?

[afieldsmedal]

❝ You've reached Lydia Martin. I'm obviously not available right now, or I'm screening my calls and don't want to talk to you. But either way, leave a message and I might get back to you. ❞


( TEXT - VIDEO - VOICEMAIL - ARCHAIC LATIN )

Comments

[afieldsmedal]

Well, he's wearing my bra and actually needs it now, so it's safe to say something really weird is happening.

[ to everyone except her! ]

[fluctuated]

Great. Just great.

[ this is the fucking worst ever!!!!!!!!! ]

What do I do?
Nothing I own even fits me.

[afieldsmedal]

You could walk around shirtless. No one would even suspect anything was different.

[fluctuated]

[ haha ur such a comedian today lydia!! ]

I don't want to pretend to be him.

[afieldsmedal]

You don't have to pretend to be him for long. Just long enough to get to my place, okay?

[fluctuated]

What do we do when I get there?
Do we fix it?

[afieldsmedal]

Yes.

Or we brainstorm how to fix it.

We get a little drunk, maybe, and brainstorm how to fix it. Baby steps, Allison.

[fluctuated]

You can get a little drunk.
I don't think that's going to work so long as I'm stuck in here.

[afieldsmedal]

Nothing ever doesn't work, Allison. We've just got to try hard enough.

Besides, studies show that you don't actually have to be that intoxicated to relax and "be drunk", and the majority of the time people who received the placebo in place of alcohol acted more drunk than those who received alcohol when they were told they were getting placebo because they were acting on societies expectations of being drunk more than any actual legitimate intoxication.

1/2

[fluctuated]

Lydia.

[ on the other end of the line allison's despairing, because she doesn't think she'll ever relax again in her life. ]

demi do u wanna log or actionspam!!

[fluctuated]

Pour me a glass.
I'll be there as soon as I can.

i always want a log :3

[afieldsmedal]

That's my girl. Run. Run with your incredibly muscular, hairy legs!

ok i am heading to work but we can race i can put one up when i get home if you don't beat me

[fluctuated]

Please never mention these legs ever again.

!!!

[afieldsmedal]

You could have much worse legs.

[ also i made you a thing ]